no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
