i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
