She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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