when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
