I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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