well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
