I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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