So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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