carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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