when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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