we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
