where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
