Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
