Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
