Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
