eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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