gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
