I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
