I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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