And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
