PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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