Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
