Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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