just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize