I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
