my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I only lived at night.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
