Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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