And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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