I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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