Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
