If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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