i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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