Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
