I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
