She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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