So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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