A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
