12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
