Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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