I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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