You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
