youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
