New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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