You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
