What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
