dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
