Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
