After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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