Moan for me like Helen Keller
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
