I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
