so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
