Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
