best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
