i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
