I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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