Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
