Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
