I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
