party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
