Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just blew my weed a kiss
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
