The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
